Everybody needs a good role model

My husband didn't have one. His father was and is abusive. Jude never had an example of how to treat a woman. His mother is seen and not heard. She walks with her head down, she flinches and cowers at a fly. I asked him last night if that's how he wanted our daughters growing up. Afraid of their dad, and disrespectful of their mother because that's how he treats me half of the time. He doesn't know how to show affection. His idea of saying "I love you" is to get my oil changed, or fix something that's broke. He has no concept of needing to be held, or to wipe someone's tears or kiss away pain. How would he know? Until he met me, he was never shown affection either.No hugs. No kissed owies. No "I'm proud of you". No words of affirmation at all.  It rips me heart out that he shakes hands with his father, and when he tells his mom "I love you" she looks away. His heart needs to be softened and remolded.